I work
with many of clients that are just getting started in the business
world. They have something of value, a large company wants to work with
them, but somewhere in the contract process, they start doubting
themselves. Maybe I have just seen so many negotiations, but I always
feel that it is fine to ask for what you think is reasonable. After
all, the goal in a contract negotiation is to get to a win-win. So
don't be afraid to voice your concerns, ask questions, redline an
agreement, ask for a Word version of an agreement that your large
company counter-party has sent to you in PDF format. Negotiate! A draft
of a contract that your counter-party has sent to you is just that - a
draft. Sometimes the language that ends up in drafts is just standard
language that the larger company may use as a starting point. If you
see something that seems really unreasonable, it is likely inviting
negotiation. So start the discussion.
A note about negotiation
on the legal stuff: the technicalities of the legalese in contract can
get complex, so if there is something that you don't understand, ask
about it and consider hiring a lawyer to help you. Be aware that every
word counts and that legal rights and obligations have real value (for
instance, a more expansive warranty is worth something).
High school was, for me, a period of time when I felt absolutely invinceable. I will never forget one New Year's Eve that I told my parents that I was going to my friends house and my friend told her parents that I was going to her house. Instead, we hopped on a bus to Denver for the night, which was about 45 minutes away from where we lived in Boulder. We met all kinds of people, went some random places...and missed our bus back home. We had $20 to our name and were able to find a motel room to spend the rest of the night (about 4 hours) in. There were cockroaches in the bathroom, it was in a bad part of town, it was...kind of creepy. When we awoke the next morning and got ready to leave, we looked around for the room keys. They were found as we exited - they were IN the keyhole, OUTSIDE the room. Talk about unsafe.
As I read the book Testimony by Anita Shreve, I was reminded how stupid teenagers can be, how flippant they can be with their lives. I was lucky - this incident didn't end in tragedy. Oh, and I DID get caught by my parents. It was the one and only time I was ever grounded by my parents. (Not that I didn't do other things in high school that were ground-worthy, but they used the guilt method of discipline for the most part.)
We are now back from Disneyland - whew! Unpacking the princess dresses and the light sabers, the kids all sleeping in their own rooms, trying to go to bed early, getting back to work, back to real life. We had a fantastic time, as usual. This was our 3rd trip since having kids and each time has been a different experience - great in its own way. A different schedule, different interests from the kids, different energy levels and different things happening at Disneyland. Oh, and this time we had THREE KIDS WHO ARE POTTY TRAINED! Amazing stuff. If you need to know where a bathroom is at Disneyland, just give me a shout. I know them all well.
Part of our trip to Disneyland this year included a special birthday surprise for my friend, Jen's daughter, Sarah, just turned 4. Sarah, her sister Emily, and my girls Lily and Ava, all went to the Bibbidy Bobbidy Boutique in Sleeping Beauty's Castle at Disneyland. The boutique just opened up this April and was not too crowded, since I don't think many people know about it yet. The fairy godmothers helped the girls pick out princess dresses and shoes, which the birds then set out in the changing rooms. The girls all got their hair done - they all picked the "Fairytale Princess" style (big surprise...) - had their nails painted and their makeup done. Over the top? Yes. A bit disturbing to see 3 and 4 and 5 year olds in makeup and the whole thing? Oh, yes. But..the girls loved it (for about 2 hours...and then off it all came!) and I think the way it was done was in a very magical, true-to-Disney way. The fairy dust was everwhere for days, which actually helped to dry some tears throughout the weekend when a fall happened or a shoe was lost. We took photos in the carriage, which turned out really cute (I don't have a copy of the professional photos yet, the below photos were just taken with my trusty iPhone). Will we do it again? Probably not. But for a birthday celebration with 4 little girls, it was quite a special experience.
For Mother's Day, a contest was held by Disney and Macy's, awarding 50
moms (one from each state) an
amazing 5 day - 4 night coast to coast trip to Disneyland and
Disneyworld with their families. These lucky
ladies were
flown from all over the United States on Father's Day to start their
celebration with a sunrise breakfast in front of Sleeping Beauty's
Castle on Disneyland's Main Street. They had one day at Disneyland,
then were off to Florida for 2 days at Disneyworld. The event will
finish off tomorrow night with a sunset dinner at Disneyworld. I was
happy to be invited by Disneyland to attend the sunrise breakfast and cover the event as press. The stories from the winners were
amazing...as was the event.
I
met the winner from Indiana coming down on the elevator of the Grand Californian Hotel with her two
girls. In typical fashion, the girls were discussing who would get to
push the button. They agreed that the older sister would push the up
button for the day and the younger sister would push the down button
for the day. "There, now we don't have to fight for the rest of the
day!" Mom said. Smart mama! She mentioned that she had won the contest on the Ellen show and that the whole thing was just surreal.
The winners met in a conference room of the Grand Californian Hotel at 5:30am (ah, that part was fun, but this is what you have to do in order to have a sunrise breakfast), where they were each given a pink sash (ala, beauty pageant) to wear. Kelly, the winner from Delaware, told me about a long ago promise she had made to her 10-year-old son that when he was 10, she would take him to Disneyworld. With the current state of the economy, it wasn't going to be possible. And then she got the call that she was a winner. Wow, it sounds meant to be. I heard from the winer from Alabama, whose husband has been very ill and has been housebound for quite some time. When she won, he was doing better and she was able to get clearances from 4 doctors to allow them to travel. "This came right at the right time. It's a dream come true," she said.
We then proceeded down through Downtown Disney to the park. On the way, I talked to Kimberly, a mom from Maryland. She has five children, but left four of them at home. She brought her 2-year-old, her best friend from the first day of her school and her friend's young daughter. Kimberly is interested in blogging and we talked a lot about Silicon Valley Moms Group. I am hoping to see her start a blog and hear about the rest of her experiences on this trip!
It was a very unique experience to walk down Main Street of Disneyland with only 200 people, the park deserted and quiet. It reminded me of doing first tracks while skiing in Vail with my sister years ago - being able to ski on totally fresh snow with no one on this huge mountain was amazing and this was very much in the same vein. When we got to the front of the castle, a wedding-like scene was revealed. There were tables draped in pink silk tablecloths, gorgeous flower centerpieces, and a full spread of a gourmet breakfast. Each of the moms was crowned Queen for a Day with a tiara. Soon, the Queen of the castle came out to trumpets playing and soon all of the princesses - Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Sleeping Beauty and Jasmine - came out to talk with the crowd, take photos and sign autographs (I have to admit that I pulled out my autograph book for the occasion, something I have never really been into at Disneyland. The way they sign is actually pretty cool - and I can see how kids might get over their shyness of talking to these characters if they have some purpose: the autograph.)
After breakfast, the moms posed for a group photo. The most memorable and over the top part of this whole thing was the release of about 50 doves from the castle. Um, wow. I'm thinking that doesn't happen very often.
The families then had an hour of early access to rides at Tomorrowland (although Space Mountain was broken at the moment...bummer) and to visit Tinkerbell at the new Pixie Hollow. (I was told that Pixie Hollow is really cool at night, when they do a lot of nightclub-like effects with the lighting. "Magical" was the word of choice...of course.). The rest of the day was theirs to play, although the moms did have some VIP seating for the Celebrate a Street Party and the new fireworks show featuring a flying Tinkerbell and Dumbo.
I'm sure they are all having a great time in Disneyworld by now. To win a trip like this would be fantastic - every mom deserves to be Queen for a Day (on a regular basis would be nice...). Disney and Macy's are helping some special moms have a trip of a lifetime. Congratulations to the winners of the Macy's Moms Disney contest!
This trip, the Grand Californian Hotel & Spa
was our home for 3 nights. I loved, loved, loved the craftsman
architecture, the woodsy (very California) decor with tree accents, the
humongous brick fireplace in the lobby, the family centered feel (milk
on ice and warm cookies awaiting our arrival!), coloring activities for
the kids in the lobby while we parents had a glass of wine, and the
easy park access (you are right in Downtown Disney and you can also
walk right into California Adventure - no ticket line). I didn't get a chance to try out
the spa, but for us it is all about the kids when we go to Disneyland.
Maybe when they get older. Bunk beds with a trundle bed underneath
worked perfectly for our family. I almost want to get a trundle bed for
Ava to put under Ben and Lily's bunk beds at home and turn Ava's room
into my office! I would stay there again in a second.
NOTE: I heard from the Disney team that Disneyland Hotel is getting a major renovation
starting late this summer. They will be doing it in two stages, so that
the hotel will be available during renovations. There are some outdated
parts of that hotel, so its great that they are redoing it.
(FULL DISCLOSURE: Disneyland footed part of our bill for our
trip, as I was covering the Macy's Moms event. Disneyland doesn't do this
very often at all, but it was just the perfect opportunity since our
family was already headed to the park this particular weekend anyway.)
Every
year that we have gone to Disneyland, we have gone with friends or
family. Last year, we went with my twin sister, Robin, and her family.
The year before, we went with our good friends, the Gouldrup family
(they are actually in my very first blog post on this blog!).
This year, it was once again a trip with the Gouldrups. Jen and I have
been best friends since college, we were pregnant together (our oldest
kids were born 3 weeks apart), we vacation together often, throw
parties for one another, and are really a part of each other's
families. Next week, she is moving across the country to Boston and I
will miss her terribly. (Don't tell her that though, she is in denial
and doesn't want to hear any sort of goodbyes. At. All.) I am going to
Cape Cod for 3 weeks this summer with the kids to spend time with her
there, so I will see her soon. It is NOT goodbye (is that good, Jen?). It's a small world, after all. :)
Some other friends were at Disneyland too. My good friend, Tina, from Gemini Crickets, and her twin girls (Ava's baby friends from the Good Samaritan Hospital breastfeeding support group) moved to Southern California last October and we have missed them since. She's had a new baby too (very much like our story...surprise!). They just happened to be coming to Disneyland for Father's Day, so we got to meet up with them...where else but at the It's a Small World ride! It was a short visit - too short - but at least it was something. It was great to see the girls, who have changed so much, and to meet baby Lauren. We forgot to take a picture, which I'm so bummed about. We will have to meet up again soon...
Speaking of Father's Day, we celebrated Father's Day by having a BBQ lunch at Big Thunder Ranch with Woody and Jessie.
I have to say, it was really cool. The kids played with Woody the whole
time, who stood right behind our table taking photos with people - he
did the robot, played peek-a-boo with them and was generally a really
nice guy...um, toy. Really, really good food too (Ben discovered he
loves ribs...yum....). Note: a bit pricey (I think it was about $30 for each adult and $13
for each kid) and you may need reservations (we walked in around 11:30
and got in about 20 minutes later, but it got pretty packed right after
that).
The last small world coincidence of the day was that Jeff's dad then ended up being in LA (surprise!), so we were
lucky enough to be able to meet him for a Father's Day dinner in
Downtown Disney as well. The grandkids tortured him a bit by spilling their milk on the floor of the Grand Californian Hotel & Spa lobby (oh no!!!) and making him run around after them. (I relaxed a bit while this was all happening, I have to say.)
Ben is really into Star Wars.
He says he is growing up to be a Jedi. And who can blame him? Jedis are
pretty cool. Defenders of peace and justice in the galaxy, they use the
force for defense, never for attack (that is straight from the Jedi
training oath, by the way). We knew about Jedi training
last year, but he was a bit young then at 4 years old. He did pick out
a Jedi Training t-shirt last year and has been talking about
it....since then. This year, he was ready. Well...sort of. Ben is not a
big fan of the limelight sometimes. You just never know how it will go.
When we arrived for the 3:30 show in Tomorrowland, he was pumped
though. He jumped up and down, signifying his readiness for training.
The show was really cool and really dramatic - the Jedis come out in
hooded cloaks (think Obi-Wan Kenobi from the first Star Wars...well,
the 4th Star Wars actually. Yes, I'm old school. Star Wars: A New Hope
was the first movie I ever saw as a kid in the movie theaters). They
are very serious, they scan the crowd for those strong in the force,
select about 20 kids, invite them to don Padawan robes, and give them
(training) light sabers. Sadly, Ben wasn't selected...but he was fine
with it. He sat down and watched while the little Jedis were put
through the moves with their light sabers. There was a "disturbance in
the force," storm troopers came running out and the whole stage floor
rose up to reveal Darth Vader and Darth Maul, who the kids then had to
fight to complete their training. Pretty intimidating stuff.
(For me, this was kind of like watching the parades with the kids
last year at Disneyland - they BELIEVE in it so much. "It's Tinkerbell!
It's Ariel!" It is really amazing to watch their faces when magic is at
work.)
I posted updates to Facebook
about Ben not getting selected and got all kinds of advice about how to
get him selected - jump up and down, get the family really involved,
pointing at him, etc. (Thanks Facebook friends!) He was ready to try
again the next day. This time, Lily decided she wanted to do the
training too. So she jumped along with him. Surprise, surprise (I just
KNEW it would happen!), Ben decided to just watch, Lily kept jumping
and (of course!) she was selected. She walked up, put on her robe, got
her light saber and proceeded to train and fight Darth Vadar. Ben was
totally ok with it and I was so impressed with him. I had conflicting
feelings actually - I felt really bad for him, was excited for Lily -
but I was mainly just very proud of both of them. It is not easy to
fight Darth Vader (especially for a little girl who HATES characters
and people in big costumes! I think is actually had a lot to do with
the Jedis encouraging her and Mom and Dad NOT being there with her) and
it is not easy to watch your twin sister get to do YOUR favorite, most
special thing in the world.
After Lily was done, she was given
a certificate of her Jedi Padawaness. She allowed us to take a picture
with it, then immediately pushed it towards Ben, saying "You can have
it, Ben." He pushed it right back to her, telling her "No. It's yours."
He knew she had earned that and I think he was really proud of her too.
It was a cool moment for my boy-girl twins. They really do take care of each other.
Ben and Lily also got to build their own light sabers at the Star
Trader store near the Jedi Training area. These things look like they
are going to be trashy, but they are actually really well made. And the
kids love the customization of it. You get to pick out your saber
color, your handle, put power crystals in it (I wasn't aware before
that this was what gives a light saber its power), a lightbulb, etc.
And only about $20. Very good deal.
Jeff and I got married 10 years ago on June 26, 1999. We were able to get away for a 4-day-weekend BY OURSELEVES for the first time since we become parents five and a half years ago. Well, we've gone away for a night or two, but the only significant getaway was when I was pregnant with Ava. Does not count.
We escaped to Portland, Oregon, but actually did not stay there much. We took a driving tour and just decided where to go each day - Timberline Lodge at Mt. Hood where I relived my Easter childhood trip there by looking for eggs in the stairwell, Eagle Rock Lodge outside of Eugene on the McKenzie River where we hiked and drank wine by the river, Sylvia Beach Hotel on the Oregon Coast where we played 2 truths and a lie, the Portland Rose Testing Gardens and Japanese Gardens where we spent out last couple of hours of freedom before heading home to the kids. We read a lot to each other (one of our favorite pasttimes - this trip our book of choice was Outliers by Malcolm Gladwel, purchased at the famous Powell's Books, the largest independent bookstore in the world, located on a city block in Portland). It was very nice, very necessary to get away without the kids. We drank a lot of wine and had long, (COMPLETED!) conversations. When we arrived back home, my parents said that 3 days was perfect...4 days got to be a little much. I'll take 3 days, 3 days is just fine!
----- WHILE WE WERE GONE...
We missed a Silicon Valley Moms Blog event with Bill Nye the Science Guy (Jeff was a huge fan back in the day). Since we started forgoing our house cleaners and cleaning our house ourselves, we have felt very satisfied with ourselves. Or...we did the first few times. Frankly, the process has gotten a bit tired. The kids were very happy, therefore, when we got to try out the ActiveIon, courtesy of this event. The little green little - futuristic. The fun bzz-ing sound - pleasing. The clean windows and counters and bathrooms and floors - hmmm, quite nice. The best part is that the kids are SO excited about cleaning. Think we can keep this up?
It has been a year since we have been to Disneyland and we are SO ready to go! I usually don't build things up with the kids. I like to instead stealthily pack and then wake them up one morning and say "Guess what? We're going to Disneyland! Hop on up into the car." Because you know what can happen with kids and life. Someone will get sick or Jeff or I will have to work. The Real Reason: I hate the questions. My kids asking me every single day for a month: "Is TODAY the day we are going to Disneyland?" and then when I say "No, honey, we are going in 2 weeks/1 week/6 days/5 days/4 days/3 days/2 days/tomorrow. We just have to be patient." I get in response "Awwwwww! But MOM!" is not my idea of a good time.
But this time, I actually have told my kids and I told them a while ago. You see, I did this because, honestly my darling husband was a bit on the fence about whether he would be able to take time off from work to go. So...I asked Ava over a month ago, before her birthday, if she wanted to go to Disneyland for her birthday. Of course, she accepted the invitation (squeal!) and then went and told asked Daddy if we could go, with puppy dog eyes. He, of course, caved. We are going with our good friends, Jen, Steve, and their 3 kids, who are moving to the East Coast the week after our trip. We have vacationed with them for years (including our first trip to Disneyland), so it will be a special trip. We drive down from San Jose this coming Friday and will be there through the next Monday. Father's Day at Disneyland - woo hoo!
I LOVE Disneyland. I really have to be dragged out of the park when it closes. This time around, I am really looking forward to some new stuff that Disneyland has going on this summer - the new Fantasmic show might be a little too old for our kids, but we will definitely be staying up to see the new Dumbo "Magical" fireworks show, heading to Pixie Hollow (Ava and Lily love Tinkerbell!), and checking out the new electrical light parade floats. I wish we could have timed it so that it was someone's birthday (did you know you can get in FREE to Disneyland on your birthday?), like our TWINS' birthday would have been nice. Oh well. Come January, perhaps we'll be back. (The twins in our twins club, Gemini Crickets, all signed up for free tickets - what a bargain for parents of multiples!) A friend also told me that the new Toy Story Mania ride in California Adventure (the park hopper tickets allow you to go to both parks and they are right next to each other) is fantastic - she described it as similar to Astroblasters in Disneyland, but better and with 3D glasses (not sure my kids will REALLY like the 3D, but we shall see...).
Also, our trip happens to coincide with an event that Disneyland has going on that I have been invited to take part in and write about here on Me Too You. About the event: Disneyland had a contest over Mother's Day with Macy's in which it awarded a trip to Disneyland AND Disneyworld to a mom from each of the 50 states and DC. These special moms and their families will enjoy VIP treatment (for instance, a sunrise breakfast at Disneyland, a sunset dinner at Disneyworld) and will see a lot of these new things that Disney has going on.
We will be staying at the Grand Californian Hotel right above/next to Downtown Disney, which I am so excited about! I love craftsman-style architecture and it looks very plush. I don't really know a huge amount about the hotel, so I'll be sure to take some photos and share our experiences at the hotel. We have stayed at the Disneyland Hotel once and at an off-park hotel another time. Staying at the park hotels really do have some special things, in my limited experience. First of all, you have easy access to the park, but you can also get into the park 1 hour early on one day of your stay and you can easily go to character breakfasts and other fun events. And there are just little touches of Disneyland everywhere. Our favorites from the Disneyland hotel: the Tinkerbell glow in the dark wallpaper banner, the life-sized Ariel sitting beside the hot tub, the Captain Hook pirate ship in the pool.
So I'm packing a bit already (princess dresses - check, Jedi Training shirt - check). And following Disneyland on Twitter. I ordered my Vacation Planner DVD (its available to anyone who asks for one at www.disneyland.com and it is supposed to have lot of tips to plan your days in the park). And, yes...I'm counting down the days and putting up with all of the annoying questions. 5 days until we leave!
(FULL DISCLOSURE: Disneyland is footing part of our bill for our trip, as I will be covering the Moms event. Disneyland doesn't do this very often at all, but it was just the perfect opportunity since our family was already headed to the park this particular weekend anyway.)
Me Too You is written by me, Linsey Krolik, and this is my personal blog. About me: Mom to 6-year-old boy/girl twins and their (surprise!) baby sister, who is now 3-years-old. Technology, business and media lawyer and entrepreneur. Partner at Silicon Valley Moms Group, handling legal, business development and advertising for the SV Moms Group network of blogs. Twin sister to Robin, who lives much too far away in Newfoundland, Canada. Community leader. Advocate for kids to think "outside the box." 9-year (and counting!) cancer survivor. Runner and aspiring yogi. Lover of life, travel, the outdoors and a good adventure.
